Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A Bourbon fairy tale.

Ahem.. Once upon a time there was this awkward dorky girl  named  Einahpets. She was sarcastic and funny and a little shy and loved by all the animals and comic book super heroes she knew. One day she met a seemingly wonderful man named Captain Morgan. He thought it would be a good idea to "train" Einahpets on the ways of the world. No more helping people, they just use you. No more friends, my insecurities cannot handle all the men in your life. And she did as she was told and went away with Captain Morgan to his ship searching for her happily ever after. What a mistake that was. Captain Morgan was a crazy person. He was disgusting, so disgusting he made himself sick quite often. He didn't mix well with coffee or cigarettes or lemonade or hot chocolate or ice cream. But alas, our love sick Einahpets, thought she could save him, make him better. (We cannot all be heroes and as it turns out, most people don't want to be saved) Captain Morgan grew more and more bold and cold with his flavor and eventually the ship started sinking. And the dog Eneloj died. Along with Einahpets dream. And Captain Morgan was intolerable so Einahpets snuck away in the middle of the night. Alone and no where to call home, she landed at The Deuce where her good fortune would continue with meeting Titos. Titos was funny and belonged to the world. Made in Texas all the way, he was her best friend. He reminded her of that song Night Train. (Press play on the video to get that feeling).He kept telling her, you were made for something so much bigger, dont be sad  or scared anymore Princess. And she stopped.  And slowly, very slowly Einahpets started reclaiming her life and friends and animals. Then one day, while Einahpets was working the lunch shift at a local pub, the handsome Jim Beam , stopped in for lunch. He had been in the pub before, she knew who he was...but he had not noticed her. Jim Beam just happened to sit right in Einahpets section with what we can only assume was his pet monkey Kentucky Deluxe. She thought..."Jim Beam...look at him, he would never in a million years, spend his delicious time with me". And so she jousted with the monkey for a while and slipped her number onto Jim Beam's receipt. A chance meeting and a leap of faith later, he called. And from that moment on, they were inseparable. Then Jim Beam went on hiatus for a while, and Einahpets was crushed. Titos tried to help, so did the Irish Car Bomber, so did Jack Daniels, and Makers Mark...but really nothing was fun anymore without him. And so, she set out to wait...and tell him she loved him...and hope he loved her too. And then, she had her chance and Einahpets who then belonged to the world too, was hoping to belong to one.Not just anyONE, but this one. Amidst the confusion, the disapointment, the lust, the desire, the world gave Einahpets her first break ever... and Jim Beam has made her life wonderful and amazing and fun ever since.

Friday, February 11, 2011

If one voice can affect things...here is mine

 Dear D L,
      I know what people think when they see me in a comic book store.. I have heard in fact, what you say. And it must scare the shit out of you that a confident, pretty girl might know more then you. That being said, I took a chance on you 3 different times in three weeks. Remember, the first time I walked in one of Atomics old customers was there. I saw the look on your face while we talked. I know you know I am from Atomic. But did you see the emotion? That guy, who is now your customer, was one of my favorites. He mattered to me. And in the space of him and I talking, 4 different people walked in. And you didnt greet any of them. How do you make people feel like they belong if you dont ever take the time to greet them? I got in the car and cried when I left your store for feeling so helpless for my guys who might not ever feel special or cared for again...Thats not even my problem from that day. My problem is, every title I read you did not get in. What, if its not flashy with Green Lantern or Superman or the upcoming death of Spider-man its not worth a damn? You know what, thats how you missed out on 27. Thats why none of the lame ass stores in San Antonio had it. Thats why you can ONLY got reprints of issue one. Ahem...sorry that is enough of that.
   The next Wed, Daytripper TPB had come out. Off I go again to your store. Do you know how much this story meant to me, any idea at all? I cant wait, finally I can read all about Bras at once. But oh no DL, you have other plans for me. You have sold out of the no doubt 3 at best, copies you got. And, once again, you dont have any of my indie titles in. This concludes my second trip.
 My third trip, I broke. I had to order my Daytripper and decided it is better to support local business then get it from Barnes and Nobles. So in I come again. And it is Monday. And I know my 27 hits Wed. So I look at you in the eyes and I say 27 is MY book I need it. And you say, we can order that just fill out this form and we will call you when its here. I think I should just add my Daytripper to that order, and I do. I havent had my comic fix in two weeks, I am excited 27 is just 2 days away! Let me tell you something D L, IT IS FRIDAY! Still no call, no word? Did you miss the part where I said I NEED IT? I cannot believe stores like you, chain stores, manage to stay open while stores with heart and warmth, stores that care about its customers sink.That is all....
 And that brings me to my point. Atomic people, I want to believe that Atomic stood for something great and wonderful. I hope Gary,Jason, Josh, and I always made you feel welcome and wanted. I hope that we made your life a little more bearable, and by that I mean, I hope you felt you had somewhere safe to go when it seemed like the rest of the world was Bruce Lee and you were having your ass handed to you.  I hope that you all felt like you could be you there, and you not be judged. I hope we invited you to be the best you's you could be. I hope you guys stay reading and supporting our indie titles and writers and artists. I hope you guys know, if you are walking into other stores and having a hard time and not feeling the love, I am too. I hope you all know I miss you. And I plan to start reviewing again next week. Till then, dont let the man get you down. <3 Steph

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Jake Ellis could whoop Chuck Norris

 Who is Jake Ellis? Jake Ellis is NOT your average comic (Your reading this, then your too smart for average comics anyway). You might find Jake Ellis too intense. You might feel Jake Ellis's art is too awesome to take,in which case, your eyes just explode from the awesomeness of the pages.  Jake Ellis is the most action I have seen in weeks...yeah, I said it. Jake Ellis makes whatever Bourne movie you will probably try to compare it to look like a Blues Clue episode. In fact you should know Jake Ellis could definitely take Chuck Norris...
  Have you been reading your comics lately and wondering when the heck the action is going to start? Wondering when something that makes your heart rate rise? (Not naming any comics GREEN ARROW & SUPERMAN ahem) Me too. That's where Who is Jake Ellis? comes in.
    Who is Jake Ellis? is from a writer, you might remember his work from the insane thriller The Light, Nathan Edmondson. And the art from the very inspiring Tonci Zonjic. You might have seen him show off his skills in Superman 80 page Giant, or Dark Reign:The Cabal. You have to know, from the very first page, this story feels like it is happening to you. You are Jon, in Barcelona having drinks with some people and then you are like the freakin Transporter dodging bullets and making a great escape. Then the story stops... and you are back in 15 seconds earlier. When it replays you get the opportunity to see why that bullet dodging escape was so successful. And I have to say..whoever Jake Ellis is, I want him. He would, like Jon, be only visible to me. I, like Jon, would trust him to keep me calm and get me outta there when/if the bad guys found me. I dont know if he is a guardian angel or a figment of the imagination (kinda like the feel you start to get for Reznov in Black Ops) or an imaginary friend.  I want to be clear here...Jake is not cheesy in any kind of way. Nathan makes this work in a way that makes you envious you dont have someone telling you left, duck,RUN, we are safe. Though, Jake does make it clear he has limitations...Why are these people after Jon? Where did Jon meet Jake?
You dont get the answers you want right away. But I, like most women...am like a cat. And if you dangle a string in front of me I will play...and pounce...and want more. I have been completely bated by Jake Ellis. Who is Jake Ellis? I am going to find out, and if you dont come with me, I am pretty sure you will wish you had.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

27 ..2+7=9. 9 reasons to add 27 to your sub!!

1. Because I said so.
2. Because when you catch a music reference in the book you feel like the master of all things music.
3. Because I cant remember the last time a cover felt so familiar to me.
4. Because, the art, every panel is gorgeous.
5. Because you love music, and part of you wants our guy to make it to 28.
6. Because the story is really wonderful and engaging, every piece of music trivia connects you to the story
7.  Because there is a wonderful puzzle hidden within the pages of this book
8. Because once you know there is a puzzle in it, you too will stare at the pages forever, trying to find the clues, map, words. ( you should know I am winning this one so...)
9. Because its new, and different, and challenging. From the art, to the story, to the puzzle, everything about this book kicks ass. And #1 went to second printing which will ship along with issue 2 in Jan

 And now...my thoughts on it.

More famous musicians have died at the age of 27, then any other age. It makes you wonder, is there a curse? If you are shining bright, playing like magic, and reaching people are you doomed? Maybe I am being a little Irish and superstitious when I say this, but damn, seems like something is going on… Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, Janis Joplin…is it odd to you too? The peak of their careers…taken. Naturally, when I read that there was going to be a comic series 27, put out involving this matter I was stoked.
27’s art took me by surprise. It’s gritty but still clean. Each cover is a take on a picture of a famous musician who died at 27, the first cover being, Kurt Cobain.  Also what is so great about this book is you get amazing music trivia by the fourth page. And being as, I am a huge lover of music, catching the reference right away made it feel like I was involved in the story. I should also clue you into the fact that there is not just trivia happening in this book but also an easter egg hunt, if you will. The writer of 27, Charles Soule, has hidden a puzzle within the pages of the first four issues..here is what Charles had to say about it “ Another one of "27's" little sub-themes is numerology, specifically related to the number nine and its connection to creativity - after all, two plus seven equals nine, there are nine muses, etc. With that in mind, I decided to place a sort of puzzle into the book. I'll say that it's tied to the number nine, and music, and it's spread across all four issues of the mini. It should be easy to spot for sharp-eyed readers, but not necessarily easy to figure out. Anyone who does figure it out, though, will find themselves with a very clear set of instructions to follow, and I'm planning a cool surprise for the first person - or maybe people - who get there.”
 FREAKIN AWESOME!!So about the book. You get a sense right away of a man who is musically at the top of his game. He gave up everything in his life for this, and he is finally reaping the rewards. He can’t imagine loving anything this much. And then, we get his story, where it all went wrong. Reflex sympathetic dystrophy. It hits people who do repetitive things with their hands, with few options to fix.  There is surgery but your hand never works right again, useless to a musician. There is getting so high you forget about it. (Curious how many of our 27 members went out high? At least 3). Or this final option, a different kind of medicine. Our guy, Will Garland, on his 27th birthday, which is today, makes a desperate move. He goes to see a witch doctor who, has a contraption, that collects the body’s natural energies in exchange for healing. Really, I mean, what would you do to have your life back? What happens next, is for you to read. I cannot wait to have a music adventure with Will. I want him to make it to 28. I also want to solve the puzzle. Pick up this book, and join me in some rock and roll awesomeness.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Bad girls do it better...

  I have an attitude problem. I am generally drinking Jack Daniels and Coke, and yelling obscenities at the refs of basketball games and other players on TV. I am not above initiating a water gun war in which I rig your gun to not work. I have been known to threaten people with my death ray gun. I have a horrible temper and am a poor loser. I cuss a lot! I know I am a little intimidating, and I like it that way.. . dont get me wrong. I am also very shy and very sensitive. I try to do good, put others first. I love very intensely, and very deeply. Clearly I dont fit into your standard girl super hero box, I can never relate to them. None of them seem rowdy enough for me, the kind of girl I think could take me. And I guess thats what I look for in a female hero, someone who makes me think they could just put me in my place real quick. Someone I can relate to. There seems to be a lack of heroes who are just a little bit bad, who are strong women but not in a traditional way. Strong in a way that, they are beautiful, can drink a dude under the table and take his bike.Enter Valhalla Cindermane...yeah, I think I love her.
    Thats right... The Diva of Thunder Rides Again! I am always skeptical about comics that have any women involved in them. (I love you Poison Ivy, Harley, Domino, Cat Woman) In fact Gary put this book in my hand today and said tell me what you think and I groaned a very impatient groan. But I took it and read it and loved it. First of all, the art is gorgeous.It opens with Valhalla on a motorcycle. (Yeah, she actually is that awesome) I don't want to spoil it but also, her weapon of choice is really lovely. Next, she is at a bar having a drinking contest. She is sarcastic and arrogant and I think at this point she has already stolen my heart but then she just out does herself in a classic bar brawl (woot woot) followed by the question, "Are there none fit to stand before me?" Uh, yeah... PICK ME!PICK ME! I want to know who she is, she could be my best friend. I haven't felt like this since Cassie Hack shed her light on me. I recommend you pick up Valhalla Cindermane and fall for the bad girl a bit.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Green Lantern Trailer...


  Can I just say I am anti comic book movies...at this point when is the last time a great one came out? Kick Ass? Are you serious, did you even read the book? The Losers? Ummm...NO! Wolverine, you know with Deadpool having lasers shooting out of his eyes and claws? Lets not forget the amazing Ryan Reynolds....DEAR GOD! Watchmen? I adored this movie all the way up to the end...and then felt really unsatisfied. .. Iron Man 2? Yeah all you should have watched was the Previews since it showed every  single awesome part in it.   AGHHHHHHH!! I am sick of it!

    Being that I work at a comic book store,  had to watch the Green Lantern trailer so I can talk about it with my customers. Reluctantly I watched it I should say. The reason...Ryan Reynolds. All I am saying is I dont know if  can get past the douchiness that is Ryan. I am watching the trailer and thinking how can anyone think this guy is Hal. And who the fuck would give him a ring?! DID ANYONE ELSE SEE HIM AS DEADPOOL FOR THE LOVE OF KIRBY?! Why, cant Hal be someone more awesome? More believable? Not this douche guy who looks like he just stepped out of J-crew! That being said HOLY COW, Sinestro looks awesome, for that brief one second he got, as does Kilowog. See this is your problem America. Actually, now that I think about it... the brief Sinestro appearance and Kilowog was brilliant. Thats the kind of teaser that will take me to the theater to see it. Damn you! You got me. Well played, well played. That is all for now...must admit defeat. - Steph