Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Bourbon fairy tale.
Ahem.. Once upon a time there was this awkward dorky girl named Einahpets. She was sarcastic and funny and a little shy and loved by all the animals and comic book super heroes she knew. One day she met a seemingly wonderful man named Captain Morgan. He thought it would be a good idea to "train" Einahpets on the ways of the world. No more helping people, they just use you. No more friends, my insecurities cannot handle all the men in your life. And she did as she was told and went away with Captain Morgan to his ship searching for her happily ever after. What a mistake that was. Captain Morgan was a crazy person. He was disgusting, so disgusting he made himself sick quite often. He didn't mix well with coffee or cigarettes or lemonade or hot chocolate or ice cream. But alas, our love sick Einahpets, thought she could save him, make him better. (We cannot all be heroes and as it turns out, most people don't want to be saved) Captain Morgan grew more and more bold and cold with his flavor and eventually the ship started sinking. And the dog Eneloj died. Along with Einahpets dream. And Captain Morgan was intolerable so Einahpets snuck away in the middle of the night. Alone and no where to call home, she landed at The Deuce where her good fortune would continue with meeting Titos. Titos was funny and belonged to the world. Made in Texas all the way, he was her best friend. He reminded her of that song Night Train. (Press play on the video to get that feeling).He kept telling her, you were made for something so much bigger, dont be sad or scared anymore Princess. And she stopped. And slowly, very slowly Einahpets started reclaiming her life and friends and animals. Then one day, while Einahpets was working the lunch shift at a local pub, the handsome Jim Beam , stopped in for lunch. He had been in the pub before, she knew who he was...but he had not noticed her. Jim Beam just happened to sit right in Einahpets section with what we can only assume was his pet monkey Kentucky Deluxe. She thought..."Jim Beam...look at him, he would never in a million years, spend his delicious time with me". And so she jousted with the monkey for a while and slipped her number onto Jim Beam's receipt. A chance meeting and a leap of faith later, he called. And from that moment on, they were inseparable. Then Jim Beam went on hiatus for a while, and Einahpets was crushed. Titos tried to help, so did the Irish Car Bomber, so did Jack Daniels, and Makers Mark...but really nothing was fun anymore without him. And so, she set out to wait...and tell him she loved him...and hope he loved her too. And then, she had her chance and Einahpets who then belonged to the world too, was hoping to belong to one.Not just anyONE, but this one. Amidst the confusion, the disapointment, the lust, the desire, the world gave Einahpets her first break ever... and Jim Beam has made her life wonderful and amazing and fun ever since.